|Darth Calliope's Creative Journal. (dee_cees_cj) wrote,|
@ 2011-01-11 13:10:00
Chapter Seven: Only This, and Nothing More
Jet sat up from the bed when he heard footsteps outside his room. They were light and indiscreet, leading the young android to believe that it was his Leader's footsteps opposed to someone else's.
It has to be Virginia, no one else I know walks as quiet as she does… She's so considerate. It's too bad I'm too much of a jerk most of the time to appreciate it… Why am I a jerk? It's not like I wants to be this way! It's like the words flow out of my mouth before my mind has time to grasp them and correct them.
Could have something to do with the fact that, on a social level, you have the mentality of a five year old. You don't know when to shut the fuck up or open your trap. Once you learn how to do the aforementioned things, you'll be a lot happier and less…
Like a jerk? Finished Jet, wishing that Reason had a neck to strangle.
That about sums it up, you're learning, Adam, you're learning… was Reason’s infuriating response.
Why is Reason back from the proverbial grave? I sure as hell don't remember calling for it. I'm beginning to wonder if Reason exists for more reasons than just the ones it stated…
Those, my silver hair friend, are answers that you, yourself must answer. Jet scoffed at Reason silently and flopped back down on to the bed.
Boy, I must be lame; it seems to me that I've created my own, personal, "playmate"…
"Nah." Spat Jet, closing his eyes and immersing himself in the warm darkness.
Darkness… I wonder if Gallows is dead and in his own darkness? If he is, he'll be happier there… In the darkness… no one can hurt him there. And, I think that's what he wanted… he wanted to be free… right?
Freedom? Is that what the call death, freedom? Freedom from pain, sorrow, anger, and hatred. Everyone's modern messiah?
The deeper Jet dove into his psyche, the deeper and darker the thoughts became. Reason was surprised on how quickly Jet caught on to the use of his newly discovered shard of soul.
He stood in a room full of bodies impaled on meat hooks. Each face held a spectrum of emotion, from irrefutable calm to explicit amounts of fear. He looked around, his heart thudding in his chest as he reached out shakily to grasp something solid.
Nothing there… He dropped his hand to his side and studied the nude bodies on the meat hooks with cold perceptiveness.
Who are they?
It was then they all opened their eyes and looked at him accusingly, their eyes bulging and then falling out of their sockets and plopping wetly against the floor. Jet covered his mouth in disgust and watched as the eyeballs rolled toward him.
"You are to blame…” said the eyeless bodies as they swayed violently back and forth.
Jet shook his head shakily back and forth.
"No I'm not."… It was then the faceless bodies became familiar, they were of all of the people that he had hurt or slain in all of his years living. And, yet, some were unfamiliar.
"What in the hell is all of this?!" He breathed with fear as the bodies ceased their swaying and everything, once again, fell silent.
"This…” came a feminine voice from the shadowy corner. “is Extrēmus Animus… Also known as the end of the world…” continued the voice, now given a silhouette for Jet to lay his terrified eyes upon.
"The end… of the world?" Quivered Jet, watching as the form slunk out of the shadows and into the dim light in front of the bodies.
When Jet's eyes fell upon her full form, he shrank back a little. There, in front of him, stood a little girl with long, blue, tresses. Her face was plump, like a child's, but her eyes were cruel, knowing, and as black as the midnight sky.
"Yes, Jet, the end of the world… The end of your consciousness…” She said, pushing one of the bodies to the side with amusement, watching as it swung back and forth before darting her eyes back to Jet's shaking form.
"Do you know who I am?" She asked, holding out her arm to the side and then giving her wrist a dainty flick. The world around him faltered and then faded into a snowy mess of signals, words, and visuals. He backed up a little bit more, only to bump into the little girl's back.
"Where are you going?" She asked from behind him, gripping on of his hands into her own and pressing her back against his. Jet, at the moment, was too scared to say anything and too freaked out to remove his hand from this thing.
"I see that you are too predisposed at the moment to answer my question, so I will answer your unspoken one. My name is Htilil, mother of your mind's creation. I control your thoughts, your dreams, and your desires. Your unspoken fantasies lie within the corridors of my mind. The words you dare not speak lie within the honey of my lips…" She let go of his hand and reappeared right in front of him, causing him to back peddle a couple of steps before falling into a steadier stance.
"Htilil… that name sounds so familiar…” He stuttered, giving her an unwavering, albeit, uneasy gaze. She chuckled and took a couple of steps back, giving him a once over as she did so.
"Of course it does, it is, after all, the name you hear whispered in the deepest recesses of your mind." Jet blinked to this and took a couple of steps forward, so that they were now around four inches apart.
She's in striking distance…
"But you know better than to hit your own "Mother". Isn't that right, Adam?" She chuckled, reaching out to take his trembling hand into her pale one. However, Jet had decided before hand that he did not want her to touch him and pulled his hand out of her reach hastily, glaring at her as he did so.
She put a mock frown and shook her head back and forth mournfully.
"You hurt me, my son; I figured that you'd like to be touched…” She said, reaching out her hand once again and setting it unmolested on his face. The coldness seeped into his flesh and caused his body to freeze against his volition. It was then his mind, the one that existed within him, set itself into motion.
How many times have you pulled the trigger to take someone else's life? Came a gruff voice to his left. Jet slowly opened his eyes and inched them toward the voice nervously.
"I did what I had to do." He answered; twitching his hand to make sure it was still there.
So, did you poison him because it was something you had to do? Came a feminine voice from his left.
"Yes! I had to make him pay for what he did!"
Mother… I missed you… Please help me!
What he did? Don't you mean what you MADE him do?
Mommy….They're picking on me again…
Why are you picking on this child? He's only ten years old! Came his Mother’s voice from right in front of him. His eyes brightened and he reached a shaking hand toward the voice.
"M-mother?!" Jet gasped, tears brimming in his eyes and then spilling down his cold, pale, cheeks.
Why are reaching for your mother now? Didn't you pull away just moments ago?
My son was scared; he did not know any better! Stop harassing him! exclaimed Mother, her voice brimming with anger and irritation.
My Mother… why did I pull away? I'm sorry…
"I'm sorry!" cried Jet, flinging his arms open, hoping for his Mother’s sweet embrace. When he saw a lithe form step out from the engulfing darkness, his heart leapt with joy. Soon, however, his rapidly beating heart nearly stopped when he saw what his Mother really looked like.
"My son…” She whispered, pulling him into her bosom, and kissing him on top of his head.
"B-but you're…" uttered Jet, trying to pull his face away from her soft shoulder.
"Hush now, my son, do not fret… Mother is here to make everything better… "
This… this is…
"Virginia!" He exclaimed, pushing back from her roughly and glaring at her.
Virginia shook her head and closed her eyes, irritating Jet a little bit more than he already was.
"I'm Mother, not Virginia… please remember that." Replied Mother calmly, reaching out her small hand. Jet backed away a little more and drew out his gun, his hand shaking as he leveled the sites at her forehead.
"Tell me, whoever you are… Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" He breathed, each word hanging on the blade tip of fear. Mother took a step toward him and waved her hand in a dismissive manner in front of her. The horrifying mural of bloodshed slowly faded into a swirl of nothingness.
"Deserve what? Your Mother's love? A new lease on life? Tell me, Adam, what do you mean exactly?" She disappeared in a flash of light and then reappeared right in front of him in the form of the little girl.
"I… I don't want you! I don't want your love or… or sympathy! I want you to leave me alone!" He screeched, firing his gun blindly at Mother, who simply phased right through the hissing bullets.
"Do not lie. The mind knows only what is closest to the heart. You, Jet, want love. Whether it is sex, motherly affection, or a combination of both, you want love… Am I right?" She smiled, standing up on tip toe and brushing her lips gently against his. Jet blinked, having not the audacity to disprove her theories or deliver himself from her flowing caresses.
He tentatively returned this kiss, willing her form into that of Virginia's. Mother smiled around this kiss and slowly parted his lips with her tongue, a small smile forming across her pretty face.
My light in the darkness… The world within my thoughts… So many things I can not say or do… so many things. He thought as he allowed his tongue to dance with hers. The giggle that escaped from her lips was that of Virginia's not Mother's.
Or is it? He pulled away and locked eyes with Virginia, voiceless, his heart beating within his chest.
"Who are you?" He mouthed, wiping Virginia's sweetness from his lips.
"Who am I?" She responded, taking a coupled of steps back, her smiled widening.
"Who am I? Who are you? What are you? Do we dream of one another? Are you my dream or am I yours? You form me from your desire and yet you, yourself, do not realize the gravity of what you feel. How sad, Jet, that I, Mother, must teach you so much. But I am patient. Oh so patient. First we must take care of him and then I will be yours and she will be yours… and we will become one being. I am Mother and yet I am also Father. I exist due to your lot in life. Had you been someone else, hell, something else, I would not exist at all, or, rather, I'd exist in another form."
"You're desire? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Are you saying that I desire to sleep with her as both my mother and my lover?! "
"It is not so uncommon for a man to want his mother as a lover. In fact, there's a psychological term for it. I, however, do not feel like getting into all of that. One thing at a time. I will put it simply: So long as your heart beats red blood through your veins, I will exist. Ecstasy is a step above pain, as is lust a step above love. You want her to be with you, to care for you, to exist only for you. Whether or not your desires are selfish is not for me to decide, you, yourself, must weigh each emotion carefully. Such is the way of the human race." She concluded, stepping into the swirling darkness. Jet took a step forward and was pushed back by an invisible force field.
"But I'm not human, damn it! Those rules don't apply to me!" He growled, striking the invisible force field with his trembling fist. Mother laughed to this, her lips now the only thing visible.
"You are more human then you think. My final words, for now at least, are these: Think with your heart, not your nether regions. Many a good man has fallen to his own feral desires." And with that, she completely vanished, her spirit no longer lingering within Jet's line of perception. Jet sank to his knees and whimpered as he faded back into the physical realm, his heart a maelstrom of agony and confusion.
"What do I do?" He whimpered as he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "What do I do?"
This question was answered only by the sound of the whispering wind through the old oak tree outside his window. Only this and nothing more.